i would leave this as a comment but that would be creepy

[bladderwrack]

The library is amazing at 6:30 AM during the final week of school; you wander inside in a sickly daze and there is life, what a wonderful feeling, you’re not alone. Aggravated students connected in a mad dash to beat deadlines. And finding a good one-third of your classmates from one class there in a collective hysteria, trying to finish. It makes me wish I hadn’t already. It’s something ineffable and fun only in retrospect when the poisonous taste of energy drinks is far gone and you’re well-rested enough to forget the misery of a sleepless night. But it still means something, all that effort put toward a goal; a dream, maybe.

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I stared at this entry for a while because I am in more or less the same position as the OP, and it seems like a terrifying void. It really is a matter of affect.